- I stopped lying to myself - I kept looking in the mirror and saying, "not too bad," or when I didn't eat well, I would say, "I'll start tomorrow..." It was all bullshit, and my awakening came when I saw a picture of myself, old and fat, and I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I also had one good friend who called me out on my bullshit constantly and that helped me start looking at all the areas of my life:
- I did a hardcore self-assessment - I tried to be a brutally honest as I could about everything in my life; what relationships in my life were working, and which were not, and how much did I have to do with both situations? How did I become this way? Who was I, really? What were my core values? What essential parts of my personality and tastes had I given up over the years in attempts to please others? What self-image did I want to have? What were my goals, and was I really ready to dedicate time, money, sweat and pain to reach those goals? These are just some the questions I had, along with compiling a long list of shortcomings and taking ownership of those.
- I changed my appearance to match who I wanted to be - This sounds a little silly and vain, but was really essential. I didn't want to be overweight, and I didn't want to be stereotypically old. I'm in my fifties, but I looked 20 years older and was very overweight on top of that. So I dyed my hair and grew a beard - first steps in becoming the person I wanted to be.
- I became a vegetarian - in one visit to the doctor, he basically told me the tests showed everything bad was too high, and everything good was too low. I had high blood pressure, high bad cholesterol, high glucose readings (on the way to diabetes), etc, and low good cholesterol, etc. I didn't want to go on medication (although I consented to a low dose of blood pressure medication), but I wanted to avoid the other issues through diet. Cutting out animal fat and carbs, and reducing dairy (I will eliminate it soon), sugar and processed food made me feel better and more energetic immediately.
- I started taking garcinia carbogia - My parents were in town for a visit, and my mother is a big Dr. Oz fan. He is a big promoter of garcinia, but I had my doubts. I read about it online in some real medical journals, and it seemed to have some validity as a natural weight loss method. I started taking it and it worked. Don't worry, this isn't some "sell you pills" kind of thing; take or not, it is up to you. It may not work for you, I don't know. All I can say is it worked for me and I started dropping weight immediately.
- I started exercising a lot - Because of the weight loss and increased energy, I started looking at exercise programs that would work for me. We had a mostly-dormant membership to the YMCA that I started using it regularly. Just a note: at the start, I couldn't do much of anything. It was actually pretty discouraging, so I just decided to do what I could and just keep at it, and slowly, very slowly, it started getting easier, and it is still getting better. But I was so discouraged by my lack of fitness that I almost gave up a few times. My advice is just keep at it even when it seems nothing is happening. It is very slow, but it does happen. Just force yourself to go and workout, and find something online or with a trainer or whatever works for you. Just-keep-at-it!
- Grace and forgiveness - I routinely fail at all of the above. Hell, some days I forget to take the blood pressure medicine! But I learned to forgive myself while not excusing myself. I may say, "I didn't take garcinia today and I felt especially lazy and skipped the gym, so it happened." I don't beat myself up, but I also know I have to correct this if I want to reach my goals, so no excuses - I made a poor decision, so now its time to get focused and back on track.
- Lastly, do it for you, and you alone - A lot of these "I lost weight" kind of things talk about the need for support, and while support through these changes is nice, what if you don't have any? Or even people trying to hold you back (many people fear change in others - it can convict them about their own lifestyle choices). I say screw them, and screw the need for support. You have to do this for you, and you have to realize that you might lose people you thought of as friends along the way. Screw them as well; if they were your friends that would be with you all the way, and not be an anchor in your life. You'll find the right people for the new you along the way.
So that's it. It has been hard and painful, both physically and emotionally. Nothing worthwhile is consequence-free; I've had to be more authentic with myself and other people in my life, and it hasn't always been smooth, to put it mildly. But the rewards have been worth the pain - I'm healthier than I have been in 25 years, I have a better relationship with others and, in some ways, I feel as if I have been set free from a physical and mental prison of my own making. I still have a long way to go, but I know without doubt that I will reach my goals. Believe me, there is nothing special about me, so you can reach your goals as well, just stay committed!
Good Luck - here are some websites I find especially helpful in keeping me focused and moving forward:
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